My girl Nikki is in a new relationship and happy. As is Tasha, which is why she has not been posting/ writing, she is all booed up with her longtime love. I am happy for them both. I love, Love.
Anyway Nikki, my beautiful friend is also hella sexy. She is the girl that knows beauty and sexy and does it right. So naturally her new boo loves her sexy that is until his damn insecurities jump in.
She shared with me that now (after a year plus dating) that he said that he does not like when she wears eyelashes because he adore her eyes and the false lashes conceal her eyes.
I read the text message and laughed out loud.
Every woman know a lash enhances the eye.
My laughter was more about this: When men start with that “I don’t like makeup, you don’t need it, stop wearing it bullshit” well that’s their shit coming out and putting it on you.
The Second Agreement from the book “The Four Agreements”
Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
Basically –what people do is their shit!
Nikki and I had a full laugh and conversation about men and makeup.
I am a beauty girl. Always have been. My favorite toy as a child was the Barbie Head where I could make up her face and do her hair.
“I joked with Tasha that even in the hospital dying, please make sure I have on some lip gloss, preferably a YSL gloss with some shine.
I have dated my share of men who after dating and liking me for my beauty girl habit wanted me to stop wearing makeup.
The afro-centric men to the tenth power are the worst. I wrote about them in my previous post.
One told me Women don’t wear pants or all that makeup and that as a black woman I didn’t need to wear it.
He wanted me to stop being me. He also said some bull shit historical stuff to try and convince me and all I kept thinking about were all the images of Ancient African women adorned, not only with Kohl liner, but hair braided and dripping in jewels.
And so I said “I’ve loved makeup longer than I’ve loved you.”
I can appreciate a man loving my natural beauty. In fact I want that, but as visual creatures, men who tell women to stop being pretty and sexy are on some serious bullshit.
Peep the scenario: Now you are his wife, you stop all the beauty stuff and become plain ole Jane– no more heels, lip gloss, waxing, manis and pedis, beauty shop appointments and lashes. There goes the sex, and your man looking at you with googely eyes, but you are cool because your title is wifey and he TOLD you did not need all that for his attention.
And then his attention turns to the single lady with her heels, hair and makeup game tight!
“Ya got the beans and rice and the hot ho cakes
But ya nigga still over here in my plate
I don’t want him”—E.Badu
On a serious note, this conversation made me think about all the religious laws that require women to cover up or “be natural”. No disrespect to any religion, but I think “the rules” are attempts to force women to suppress the power of their femininity. Even menstrual cycles are divine, yet man made laws have told women it is dirty. Our cycles are in tune with nature and the moon. This why when women are really loving up on each other and true friends, we become in tune with each other and start having cycles around the same time.
The feminine is powerful energy. We can make men want us with a glance; we can enter a room and shift the energy, by just walking head held high.
The healing energy of femininity is amazing. This is why we form sister circles, have girls night out and spa days.
We are naturally healers, we are naturally beautiful and we are naturally powerful.
Whether it is religion, or a man’s insecurities men have always been trying to suppress what is so powerful about being a woman. And thus when a woman is weak, she falls prey to the religious doctrine or her man’s rule that says –stop being and living in your feminine divinity. I pray that men stop worrying , teaching, writing books and lecturing about womanhood and start focusing on manhood!!!
Ladies, our shit is powerful and beautiful.
Makeup and perfume are an enhancement that just makes us shine a bit more bright and well I can not front makeup covers flaws. However, it is not a cover up to your God given beauty, and it is not as old folks use to say for “fast girls” it is here to enhance the beauty of life.
“Beauty is life when life unveils her holy face. But you are life and you are the veil. Beauty is eternity gazing at itself in a mirror. But you are eternity and you are the mirror.”
― Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet
Beauty is the fun part of being a girl and the sexy part of being a woman”—Tarsha!
tashaandtarsha 